Saturday, July 30, 2011

My heart is heavy tonight....

and I don't know what to do.  It's not anything that I can really publicly talk about....well, at least the situation isn't.  A very dear friend is having a VERY trying time right now, and I feel like I can't be there for this person in the capacity that I used to be able to before I had Ava and before I was enrolled in school.  All I can do is answer texts when they come in, and provide a quick word of love and support on Facebook.  I feel like a horrible friend.  And I am 100% sure that they don't see me as such, but I still feel like a heel.

I promise that I'm going to call, and then I get sidetracked with the baby, or school or something.  I really need to get better about it.  And the really sad part is, when I have the time, like now, it's too late to call anyone, and not only that, but living with my parents, it's not like I can just be up and on the phone til all hours like I was able to when I lived on my own.  I have to be courteous of their time schedule as much as my own.

All I can really do at this point is send up all the prayers that I can muster.  I know that God is always listening, so I can pray that He provide them the strength to endure all that is being thrown their way, and that they would take the time to listen to what He is saying.  I would also pray that they be given the peace that they are due, so that they know that I'm here, even when I feel far away.

On that note, I'm going to sit here and eat my chocolate caramel thingy and then drink some more of my Diet Coke (because Diet Pepsi is NASTY, contrary to Amy's beliefs) and then head to bed.  Got church in the morning, and who knows what else tomorrow afternoon.

Be blessed my friends.


  1. I'm sure that your friend, if she knows you like I do, understands that you have so much on your plate. That you are living in your dream come true right now, and Ava completes that - would she begrudge you a moment of that joy if she loved you? Knowing that you respond to her, if even in small ways when you DO have so much on your plate should mean even MORE to her because you do make the effort despite how busy you are. That sounds like love to me...

    You are such a loving person Jen, but you are hard on yourself my dear. You aren't superwoman but we KNOW you want to be and would give your life for what you hold dear. She knows hun. Believe me, she knows and she appreciates it more than she can even describe.