Monday, March 24, 2014

Homework and frustrations

*sigh* Today has just been a rough, terrible, crappy day.  I shouldn't really say crappy, because it's not been completely crappy......but it hasn't been great either.  It's been stressful, and annoying, and I am just glad that it is finally about over.

I can't seem to wrap my brain around my homework this week, and to be 100% honest, I really don't care.  I have to bring my GPA up, but this class just isn't going to do it.  I'm hoping that I will end up with a C...I just can't seem to give a crap this class.  Next week is the final week, and our group project is due, and I'm doubting that we are going to get a stellar grade, because this group that I have had to work with hasn't been worth a hill of freaking beans.

It's been hard trying to balance my life....and I'm doing a really poor job of it.  I can't seem to make anyone happy.....and it's starting to wear on me.  I'm tired of trying to be everything for everyone and failing. And as if that's not bad enough, Hubby and I seem to be constantly fighting.  I don't even know if he even realizes that we are fighting.  He can be so obtuse sometimes.  He doesn't seem to realize that being a stay at home full time mom is not as easy as he makes it out to be.  I had hoped that when I was working, he would get a tiny taste of it, but apparently that didn't happen.  He doesn't realize how far a simple thank you would go with me.  All I seem to get is pissy-ness because something didn't get done, or done right or whatever.  I love him, with all my heart, but there are days that I just want to smack him in the face with a shovel.

Cookie has been potty training here lately......and has only had 1 accident in 3 days.  THREE WHOLE DAYS!!!! She isn't pooping on the toilet, but she is peeing on the toilet....every time she has to go.  And she tells us when she needs to go potty.  I am SO proud.  I put her down for her nap today in her panties, and she woke up dry too! ;) Now we'll just have to see how the rest of the week goes.....especially when we go to Bible study....that'll be the real test.  I worry about being in the car....but as long as I make her go potty before we leave, we should hopefully be okay.  I am going to put a change of clothes and underwear in her backpack so that she can take it with her, and that way the teacher won't have to go across the hall to get the diaper bag.

I'm NOT ready for all of this....I want my teeny tiny baby back.  It's all happening so fast, and I feel like it's just slipping away.  I'm going to be the mommy of a 3 year just 6 short days.  It seems to insane to think that it's been 3 years since she was in my belly.  She's almost been here longer than we tried to get her here.  That is just completely crazy to me.  All I can hope is that I'm raising her to be a sweet, confident, well behaved little girl...who knows what she wants and that she can accomplish anything that she sets her mind to.

I'm fading, and fast, and since I'm planning on taking Hubby to work in the morning, I suppose that I should head to bed.  I don't want to be without a car tomorrow, and since the truck is STILL in the shop, I'm going to have to take him to work.

Light, love, and sweet dreams my friends.  I hope you sleep well.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Nap time shenanigans.

I wish that nap time was as easy now as it was a year ago.  Cookie just will NOT lay down quietly most days anymore, and that typically means that Muscles doesn't get a good nap either which leads to them both being cranky butts.  I try and try to get her down without being mean, but it doesn't work.  I thought maybe she was ready to just not take a nap anymore, but when she doesn't have one, come 6:30, she is just HORRIBLE.

We are going to be looking at a new house on Sunday.  Our current lease here is up in May, and since Billy & his fiance are going to be moving out, we can't afford this place on our own.  So, we're in the market for a new place....not that either of us (meaning Hubby & myself) really want to move again, but we don't have a choice.  It is a 3 bedroom, 1 bath which 1 bath isn't ideal, but it's doable.  I would rather have 2 baths, one for us and one for the kids, but oh well.  The landlord at the new house is the same landlord we have now, so we're hoping that he would be willing to work with us on the rent and such.  We like him as a landlord, he leaves us alone for the most part, but fixes stuff when it needs fixed.  I am hopeful that he will work with us, because we definitely need a 3 bedroom.

I am hopeful that with a 3 bedroom, and separating the kids that Cookie will at least take a rest when she needs to....which is every day. :P

School is going okay, the group that I have to work with leaves a lot to be desired though.  We have a group paper that we have to do, and so far there are only 2 of us that have managed to get our stuff in on time.  It's really frustrating.  Hopefully it'll get done, and we'll get a decent grade, but to be honest, I'm worried.

I'm going to cut this short, because I have a crap ton of housework that I have to do.  I will try and post again after while, but I'm not making any promises. ;)

Light, love and American Horror Story.