Thursday, June 26, 2014

Things are moving and cruising right along...............

And it's scary and exciting and overwhelming all at the same time.

Things are moving right along with Miscarriage Matters.  We're now just waiting for the approval and "official" notification for our 501(c)3.  That in and of itself is going to open SO many doors for the organization, and it's just REALLY exciting.  It's a really exciting time in the organization, and with that we'll be able to do so many more things.....reach and help so many more people (hopefully).  I'm so proud to be a part of this organization and be able to reach out and help so many when there wasn't that help available to me.  I absolutely love it.  It makes me really feel like my losses were not in vain.

School is cruising right along too...and it's kicking my butt this go around.  I'm hoping that I do really well in this class, because otherwise, I'm going to rip out my hair. :P

I had intended on writing a whole lot more, but I'm REALLY tired, so I'm going to get to bed.  I will try and write more later.

Light, Love and Parenthood.

Friday, June 20, 2014

Being a stay at home mom isn't all soap operas and bon bons.......

Before we had kids, I really hadn't given a whole lot of thought as to whether or not I wanted to be able to stay home with the kids.  I honestly just kind of assumed that once the baby was 6 weeks old, that I'd go back to work, my child would go to daycare, and all would be well and good.

When I found out that I was pregnant with Cookie, I wasn't working.  I had gotten laid off in May, and was looking for something else.  We got word that we were going to be getting a foster placement, and that's when Hubby and I decided that I would just stay home with the kids, because we would have some extra money coming in to help take care of them, and since they were so young, and they'd been bounced around quite a bit, it would be easier for them.  I had gotten used to being able to go have coffee with my girlfriends when I wanted, and I knew that it would be a bit more difficult with the kids, but it would do them some good to be around other kids and things like that.

Once I was diagnosed with high blood pressure, I was really thankful that I was at home, because I could concentrate on making sure that Cookie was doing okay, and with the twins at school in the mornings, I was able to just kind of relax at home until I had to go pick them up.  Life with the twins was completely different because they had visitation with their dad, school, and other appointments that we were constantly running to.  The twins were placed with another family in the process of going home, since I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to handle them and a newborn, so I was able to relish in sleeping in and only having to go to my doctors appointments and eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted.  I feel like I didn't get a true taste of what it was to stay home until Cookie came along.

After Cookie arrived, things were completely different for me.  There was no more sleeping in.  Ever.  For the first 7 weeks of her life, the only place that she would sleep was on my chest.  While I LOVED getting all that snuggle time with her, it was exhausting.  I pretty much didn't sleep for almost 2 months.  I would get a quick nap in while she was sleeping, but I was so worried about dropping her, or smothering her or something that my sleep was very short.  Once we moved from IL to TX, and she was sleeping in her crib, then I got a little bit more sleep.  Once she finally started sleeping through the night, it was definitely better.  But then came the napless days and crawling then walking and teething.  And on top of all of that, I decided it would be a good idea to go back to school with a brand new baby at home. HA!

I never really got the concept of being at home all day, every day, by myself while Hubby worked.  When we were in IL, Hubby was only working part time hours, so it wasn't really hard, because he only worked 5-6 hours a night, 4-5 nights a week.  After he started working in TX, he's been working 8-10 hours a day 5-6 days a week.  And that's when it became a totally different ballgame for me.

But, I will have to finish another night, because I am pooped.  I'm going to go to bed, because now that it's 2 AM, the kids are going to be up soon, and I have to get up with them.

Light, love and pretzel sticks.

Monday, June 16, 2014

Father's Day and random thoughts.

So, today is Father's Day.  I got up this morning, took both the kids to church, because Cookie got to sing with the VBS kids.  She loved every minute of it.  She is growing so's hard to believe.

I need to start checking into preschool for her.  I know she would absolutely LOVE going to school, so I really need to start researching and see if she is able to go.  I'm not sure if she would start next school year, or the following.  I'm still thinking about homeschooling.....but I'm wondering if getting her through kindergarten or 1st grade would be better......I just don't know.  I want her to have a good foundation, and she's SO smart, I know she would catch on quick.  I'm going to have to just start looking and see what's even available.  I would love to be able to send her to the Christian school here, but it is SO expensive.  So I don't really think that's a possibility.

I think that we're going to start going to the Baptist church where VBS was held.  The pastor is great, everyone there is awesome, Cookie LOVES it, there are lots of kids her age that go just feels like an all around win-win situation.  I felt really moved by the talk that Pastor gave this morning, and I really feel like we could be at home there.  I know that the kids will grow and thrive....and that's what I want more than anything.  Somewhere that my kids will make friends that they will grow up with and go to school with and maybe even fall in love with.

It's been a long day....a long week really.  My one client is out of town, so I've been going out to her place and taking care of her cats twice a day.  It's exhausting.  She's paying me to do it, so it's not a super big deal, but it just makes my days a bit longer.  Only about 6 more days to go before she's home.  So, it'll be okay until then. ;)

I should probably get to bed....seeing as it's 12:30 a.m. and I have to be awake at about 6 a.m. to make sure that the front door is locked so that Cookie can't escape....which she did a couple weeks ago.  I had a police officer ringing my doorbell at 8 a.m., because my child went outside and was across the street playing at the park, and some women walking called the police.  I almost had a break down.....she was fine, but the 'what ifs' could have killed me.

Anyway....I'm going to head to bed, get some sleep and start all over again tomorrow.

Light, love and old episodes of Grey's Anatomy.  Nighty night my faithful followers.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Laundry, cleaning and eating, oh my!

Today was a day full of laundry and cleaning and getting to spend some good quality time with my family. <3 There is nothing better than that, nothing in the entire world.  And it seems as though it doesn't happen often enough.  We're always too busy, or annoyed or something.  The kids took pretty short naps today, which made for grouchy kids this evening, but, all in all, they did pretty well.

I'm really tired of doing laundry....and I still have several loads to do tomorrow.  But, hey, it's part of life I suppose.  I have a load in the dryer that needs folded, a load that needs to go into the dryer, and then whites and sheets to do tomorrow.

Hubby and I have started watching Prison Break....and it's really pretty good.  We're on season 2, and I really really like it.  It stinks that it isn't on anymore, but I'm hoping that they wrap it up well.

The kids were in VBS this week...well, Cookie was.  Muscles was in the toddler care, and I volunteered.  I had an absolute blast working with the kids, and singing the songs and doing all the fun stuff.  Cookie absolutely LOVED going, and has talked of nothing but VBS since the first day.  It was awesome.  I'm so excited to see where this walk with Jesus leads my beauty.  She, thus far, is totally enthralled with learning about Jesus and I LOVE seeing that.  I'm hopeful that she will continue to walk this path, and that she will become a strong Christian woman, and know that she deserves nothing but the best.

I'm also hopeful that Muscles will follow the same path.  I really want both of them to lead a good Christian life, and stay as far away as possible from the evils of this world.  I know I can't keep them away from everything, but I am going to try my hardest.

I think at this point, I'm going to get some ice cream, watch another episode of Prison Break, and head to bed.  Oh, and I need to switch the laundry.

Light, love and folding socks. ;)

Saturday, June 7, 2014

Up too late, brain won't shut off....

*sigh* So, today was the day.  Sadie crossed the Rainbow Bridge, and I can't seem to shake the overwhelming sadness that is flooding my head and heart.  I was there with my mom and dad, and it was probably one of the most difficult things I've ever gone through in my entire life.  I know some people will look at me like I'm insane, but Sadie had been a part of our family for at least 12 years....I think maybe longer.  It's just a very heavy weight...knowing that the next time I walk into my parents' house, she won't be there.  She won't give us kisses, I won't hear her kids won't get to play fetch with her.  I'm emotionally exhausted, and really need to get to bed, otherwise I would write more.  The kids are going to be up early, I still need to get a shower.  We're going to my brother's tomorrow, gonna go swimming and such.  It's going to be a long day, and hot, BUT, I know that the kids will love getting to play with their cousins. <3

Light, love and Summer time fun. <3

Friday, June 6, 2014

Mental vomit..............

The last few days have been trying to say the least.  I've been stressed, tired, overwhelmed, annoyed and just feeling kind of lost, to be honest.

Cookie has been going through something, though I'm not quite sure what....she's been really fussy and cries at the drop of a hat, and throws fits, and has been refusing naps.  When she doesn't get a nap, she is VERY irritable and moody and just unhappy.  And when she gets that way, I get frustrated and lose my temper much quicker than on a normal day.  I'm working on that, but ya know....being a mommy is tough work.

Money is snugger than I would like, and that's been a big cause of stress around here lately too.  I HATE fighting with Hubby over money, I really do, but it seems like that's what's been happening here lately.

And the biggest thing that's been weighing on my mind this week is the fact that my parents are having their beloved dog put to sleep tomorrow. :( Sadie has congestive heart failure, and it won't get better, and has been steadily getting worse over the last couple weeks.  They are going out of town to see my Grandma, and didn't want something to happen while they were gone, so they opted to end her suffering tomorrow.  I'm going to go over there and be with them.  The vet is actually coming to Mom & Dad's house, which I think is awesome.  It's going to be a hard day, for sure, and I'm just hoping that I can get through the day without too much trouble.

I was totally going to write more, but the night got away from me, and I'm exhausted, so I'm going to bed.

Light, love and peaceful passings. <3 Nighty night.