Wednesday, September 28, 2011

And my brain is at it yet again.......................

You know, I think I have my mind made up about something, and then I do something dumb like changing my mind. *sigh* I am considering changing my major for school.  I just don't know that being a paralegal is what I really want to do with my life anymore. :(  I though I had it all figured out...but now I'm not so sure.

I was going to type a bunch more, but I did this earlier in the day and then had to go get Joe from work early and take him to the urgent care.  He's got tonsilitis (again) and was running a fever of 102 when we were there.  So it's the Z-Pack, Claritin, cough syrup, and sleep for him.  I will write more tomorrow when I have a few minutes, because there's LOTS to say, but it's after midnight, and I am flat out EXHAUSTED.

Stay safe and be blessed my friends, until we meet again!

Monday, September 26, 2011

Yay for no sleep..........

Or, wait a minute....should that be Boo for no sleep?  Hell, I don't even know anymore.  Sleep is becoming a word that is not familiar anymore.

Ava's still sick, poor thing has a stuffy nose.  She's not coughing as much, but she's not sleeping real well, which of course means that I am not sleeping well.  Joe could sleep through a freight train running through the bedroom, so he has no worries. >:(  I'm pretty pissed at him right now, so.....but that's another topic for another day, that'll probably take me 87 years to write out, so what's the point. :P  Anyway...Ava's sick, I'm sick, Joe's sick...we're just a bunch of sickos.  I feel like I've been hit by the aforementioned freight train.  I have algebra homework that I STILL haven't done, because I had to go and spend $95 damn dollars on a stupid graphing calculator, that I will use for the next 4 weeks and then have NO use for whatsoever.  *sigh*

One of these days, I promise I will write something that isn't completely bitching about everything that's going wrong in my life at any particular moment. :(  I wouldn't be a bit surprised if you guys (the like 2 of you that I know read) stopped reading because I am constantly complaining. :(  I think I'm going to take my unhappy, not feeling well self to bed. Maybe I will wake up in the morning and feel completely 100% better.  I doubt it, but a girl can hope, right??

Stay safe and be blessed my friends, until we meet again.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Craptastic mood continues.........................

And I'm really, really, really, really getting fed up with it.  But, there's not anything that I can do about it, so I just need to let it roll off my back, and quit bitching, because it does me absolutely NO good. *sigh*

I've got a sore throat, that just seems to keep getting worse.  I don't have the time or energy to be sick.  I really don't.  There is too much going on in my life for me to be sick.  I haven't even bothered to look at my algebra homework this week, and I HAVE to pull my head out of my ass and get it done, or I'm going to fail the class and risk losing my financial aid.  That can't happen.

I suppose I should probably take my not feeling good ass to bed.  Not sleeping is not helping me feel any better. But, I suppose that's what happens when you become a take care of everyone and everything else before yourself.  Or at least that's how it works in my world.

Stay safe and be blessed my friends, until we meet again.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Friday musings...

Or something like that.  I missed my Whatever Wednesday, because this week has just been crazy.

I didn't get the job that I interviewed for last week, so that's had me bummed out.  I love being able to stay home with Ava, so I'm trying to not get discouraged, but it's hard.  It's tough NEVER leaving the house, not having any friends.  I have my sister in law, but not having my own vehicle makes it tough to get out and go anywhere.  HOPEFULLY that issue will be resolved in the next week or so.  Then I can kind of come and go as I please and not have to worry about being back at a certain time so that Mom can get to work.  If I want to spend the day in Katy shopping or whatever, I can.  And I don't have to ask permission to go anywhere, I can just announce it and go, which will be nice.

I cannot believe that in 7 short days my baby is going to be 6 months old....1/2 a year already.  She's getting so big, and I'm just in awe.  You know, I never realized how different it would feel watching her grow versus watching my nephews or my bff's kids.  It's insane how different it feels.  Ava is just so awesome.  She's fun, and smiles ALL the time now, and she talks and coos and makes noises, and I just LOVE it.  And when she sleeps, I could just watch her the whole time.  I love snuggling with her when she's sleeping.  And I know the day is going to come when she doesn't want to snuggle with me, and so I try and snuggle her as much as possible.  I never want to put her down! But, I do, and she is SO close to crawling....she's just right there...but hasn't quite got it yet.  It's just unreal to me that this time last year, I was worried about whether or not I was going to continue to carry, and here she is. <3  It's amazing to me how quickly time has gone.

Well, Scentsy and Avon are kind of taking off.  Joe took a book for each to work, and there are a couple people that are going to order. :)  I had 2 orders from a couple gals at WW the other night, and then one of my closest friends who lives in CO ordered too. :)  So, we'll just have to see where it goes from here.  I could go absolutely insane ordering stuff, but I am not going to do

I think sometime in November, Mom and I are going to host an open house for Avon and Scentsy.  We'll have to see.  And when I have the garage sale next month, I'm going to sit that stuff out on a small table too.  My sister in law is going to hopefully be able to come over and help me with the garage sale, so....I'm looking forward to that. :)

This is it for now, I need to check on Ava and get some lunch, because I'm hungry.  OH, and I almost forgot to mention, I had a loss this week at WW, so that makes me happy.  I wanted it to be a bit bigger of a loss, but hey, a loss is a loss. :)  I'll happily take it! ;)

Stay safe and be blessed my friends, until we meet again!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Holy sick baby......

Took Ava to the doctor yesterday, and she doesn't have an ear infection, but she has a nasty, awful cold.  The poor thing was up 1/2 the night coughing and fussy.  I didn't sleep very well because of it, and she is just SO miserable.  She has a snotty nose, she's coughing, and you can just tell that she's miserable.  Hopefully the Tylenol I gave her a while ago will help her be comfy enough to sleep for a bit.  She desperately needs the nap.  I am hoping for a better weigh in this week at Weight Watchers.  I had a gain the last 2 weeks, so I'm hoping that I at least lost that this week.  We'll see what happens.

I guess this is it for now.  I'm in a bad mood, and don't feel like talking about it. :P

Stay safe and be blessed my friends, until we meet again.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Sick baby, late night and stuffy head....

Yippee.  It's going to be a long week I fear.  Ava either has a double ear infection or she's just teething.  She's been tugging at her ears all day, so I'm going to call the pedi in the morning, and see when they can get her in.  I failed my algebra test, like BIG time.  I HAVE to try and get caught up on that crap.  I can't fail the class, or I'm completely screwed.

I am completely and totally exhausted.  I supposedly now live in the allergy capitol of the world, and believe me, today I'm feeling it.  I've blown my nose about 87 million times it seems.  I just hope I didn't catch the crap that my mom had.  I don't need a damn sinus infection on top of college work and a sick kiddo. *sigh*  So, like I said, hopefully it's just allergies, and taking the allergy meds that I bought at Wally World will take care of the issue.

I am not going to write much tonight, because I am just so wiped.  I'm going to log off the computer and head to bed, and hope that Ava sleeps through the night, that the pedi can get her in tomorrow, and that she is just teething and doesn't have a double ear infection.  Oh, and that her bottom doesn't hurt quite so bad in the morning. :(  She was bleeding a lil tonight, stupid diaper rash.

Well, I hope everyone has a fantastic Monday (even if it's a Manic one! ;)  )  Stay safe and be blessed my friends, until we meet again!

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Another late night, when I should be in bed.....

Especially given the fact that I have to be up early to get some more stuff done.  I'm hoping that I'll be able to get some homework done tomorrow, because I haven't done squat all week.  I have just not been in the mood AT ALL.  I have slacked SO bad on my algebra, and I'm behind, and this is the week of the test, and I don't know 1/2 the material. *sigh*

I really just need to buckle down.  I should be working on it now, but I can't even begin to wrap my brain around anything like it.  I haven't been sleeping, I feel like garbage.  I need to put a piece of electrical tape over the damn bright green light on the fire detector in our room, because it shines RIGHT on my pillow at night.  It's like a heavenly light above my head, and I really wonder if that's the reason I end up waking up 87 times at night.  It's super annoying, and I just haven't taken the time to put the tape over it.  Every day I say I'm going to, and then I end up not getting it done.

I've been in a really craptastic mood the last several days, and I'm not 100% sure why....I think a lot of it has to do with the weight gain this week and last.  I need to just quit making excuses, and get back on the horse, and "git r done."  Mom has been helpful with that the last couple days, especially with making sure that I get up off my lazy butt and go walking with her at night.  We're walking a bit over a mile, and yeah, it's hot, but the heat will hopefully help melt some of the fat off my ass.  Or at least I can hope, right?  I really want to get down to my ideal weight by the end of 2012, and I know I can do it if I stick with the program and really TRY.  I haven't been trying, and it's reflecting on the scale.  So, that's it.  I'm done making excuses.  I'm going to just DO it, and I know I can be disciplined enough to accomplish what I want to.  I can be where I want, and maintain it.  I just have to make myself do it.  I need to avoid my trigger foods, and I know what they are, and I just have to make myself do it.  That's all there is to it.

Scentsy and Avon are both going slowly, but I know for sure that I have a couple orders coming in for both.  Mom and I are going to host a holiday open house, and see what kind of sales we get from that.  I'm really pretty excited about it.  I think it'll be a lot of fun, and will hopefully drive up our sales and give us a strong customer base.  We'll just have to see what happens.  I'm also going to have a garage sale next month, while Mom and Dad are on their cruise with my brother and sister in law, and I'll have my Scentsy stuff sitting out, along with Avon, and see what happens there.  I need to get some business cards for both made up, so that I can have those sitting out too.  I have the business cards for Scentsy, just need to print my info on them, and I'm going to order some for Avon I think.  I can get them from Vista Print for cheap, so....Unless someone else knows of a cheaper place that I can get them from.....

I really need to get out of the house and make some friends.  I feel SO alone, ALL the time.  Yeah, I have family, and my mom and I hang out quite a bit, but it's just not the same as having girlfriends that I can hang out with.  Not a single one of my friends could ever be replaced, but I need friends to survive, I really do.  I need to find some kind of activity or something that I can go out and do where I would meet some people.

HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!! >:(  I had a whole bunch more typed out, and blogger decided to EFF up, and now it's all gone, and I don't have any freaking clue what all I wrote now.  DAMN IT.

That's it, I'm going to bed.  Effing blogger. >:(

I hope you all have a wonderful tomorrow.  Stay safe and be blessed my friends, until we meet again.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Today was a good day!

My interview went well (at least in my opinion.....we'll see what actually happens), I got to hang out with my mom and my baby girl, we had a good dinner, Mom and I went for a walk, and now I'm just sitting here at the computer realizing that I REALLY should be in bed.  I have been up since before 5 am, and I'm just pooped.

So, I think since I told you all that my interview went well, I'm going to log off and do just that.....go to bed.

I will update more at some point. :)

Stay safe and be blessed my friends, until we meet again.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Nervous energy that I can't put to use because everyone is in bed.....

Oh, joy.  Knowing my luck, I'm going to have issues sleeping again tonight.  I didn't sleep worth a damn last night, I had trouble falling asleep, once I fell asleep I couldn't stay that way, and then I got woke up by everyone moving around this morning.  And now, tonight, I have a TON of nervous energy that I can't really do anything about, because everyone is in bed sleeping.

*sigh*  I have this job interview tomorrow, and I'm super nervous.  I don't know why either.  I had an hour long conversation on the phone with the owner's wife last week, about just about anything and everything under the sun, including the job, her previous jobs, my previous jobs, my baby, my family, her family...everything, and yet, I'm scared to death about this interview tomorrow.  I'm meeting with the office manager, and I am just really nervous.  I can talk anyone's ear off over the phone, but in person, I tend to clam up.  And it's really dumb, because I AM a nice person, a good person......I am just always afraid that people aren't going to see me that way.  And I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I'm fat.  I know that's dumb, but being fat really does affect how one sees themselves.  And the fact is that people do judge you by how you look, and I look like a beached whale. :)  *can we say welcome to my insanity??*

I really think I would love working for these people.  They seem VERY down to earth, and the owner's wife seems like she is the sweetest thing on the face of the planet.  She just has that "mom" least from what I could tell over the phone.  It seems like they really put family first, and their family includes their employees, which sounds like a perfect place to work if you ask me.  And it's only about 6 miles from home, which would be nice.  I could either come home for lunch (possibly, depending on how long lunch is) or eat at the office.  It only takes 12 minutes to get from there home (Mom and I drove out there tonight so I would know where I was going tomorrow), which is a shorter drive than I had ever in IL.  If the pay is right, I think it would be the perfect place for me.  It's a family owned business, so like I said it seems like they really put family first, which is important to me now more than ever, especially with Ava.

So, why is it that I'm so fracking nervous?  Why can I not just have confidence in myself that I will do a great job at the interview and they will hire me?  Oh, I know, because I haven't worked in over a year, and the last interview I had, I obviously bombed, since I'm still unemployed, and I'm a heifer.  BLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really do need to just give up and go to bed.  I need to plug my cell phone in tonight so that it doesn't die, and I have to get up early enough to get my shower and have time to be able to blow dry my hair and get Ava fed before I have to leave.  I have NO clue what I'm going to wear tomorrow, so that has me in a tizzy too.  I'm kind of in between sizes right now, so nothing fits right, and I think I look like a whale in everything anyways.

Man, I sound really pathetic tonight.....I'm going to go to bed, and pray that I wake up in a wonderful mood, and that the interview goes wonderfully and that they want me to start right away.  *sigh* We'll see what happens.

Stay safe and be blessed my friends, until we meet again.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

A day of reflection....

I sat here and remembered today.  I remembered how I felt watching the horror that unfolded this day 10 years ago.  And I honored those lost with a moment of silence at the exact moment that the towers fell.  And then I went about my day.  Does that make me an awful person?  I did what I felt needed done, and we, as a family, talked about a few things, but our day went on.  I sincerely hope that with the memorial finally being open that the families of those lost at the World Trade Center finally feel that they can move on as well.

Now onto other things.

I am hoping upon hope that my Scentsy business starts to take off.  I still need to call/text my sister in law in San Antonio and convince her that she needs to have a party. :)  I'm going to order a couple of things for myself since they are closeout items, so that should prove to be fun. :)  I am really hoping that it'll take off soon.

I also have a job interview on Tuesday.  I am nervous, but like I said before, the owner's wife sounds like an absolute doll, and I even talked to the owner for a few minutes today to get directions.  I'm hopeful that I will get the position, but we'll just have to see what happens.  I really don't want to have to work, but the fact of the matter is, I want Ava to have anything and everything that her little heart desires (within reason, of course) and if we want to have another baby (which eventually I do) it's going to take more than just Joe's income to be able to provide it.  And if I ever want to move out of my parent's house, I am going to have to get a job. :P  And Lord knows I don't want to live here forever!  All I can do is hope that I make as good an impression on the office manager as I have the owner, and we'll just have to go from there.  So, if you could, please send me all the good luck vibes, prayers, whatever that you can, because I could REALLY use this job, in all honesty. And not only that, but it would get me out of the house, which I am feeling the desperate need for. :P

I'm hoping to be able to manage to have a garage sale sometime in the next month or so.  I've got some stuff that needs to go, and so does Mom.  Her and Dad are going on a cruise in October, so I'd like to have the sale while they are gone.  We'll just have to see what happens.  I figure I could set up a small table with Scentsy books and Avon books too, and go from there. :P

Well, I'm beat, and need to get to bed.  We had a long day today, after a late night last night, so I'm going to hit the sack.  I will try and update more often, but I just seem to run out of time.

Stay safe and be blessed my friends, until we meet again.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Craptastic Thursday....

So, today was just really kind of craptastic.  I can't even really tell you why.  I started out in a pretty decent mood this afternoon, because I had a phone interview today for a job I applied for, and will hopefully have an in person interview soon.  It's for a small company, small as in they have 25 employees, and the owner's wife (whom I spoke with today) sounds like she would be a doll to work for/with.  I really would like to be able to stay home with Ava, on some level, but I get so tired of being stuck at the house ALL day, and it's driving me insane.  I don't know that I'll get the job, it would be nice, but I don't know.  I started thinking about having to leave Ava with someone, and it literally makes me sick to my stomach.  I KNOW realistically that she'll be fine, but I would feel SO much better if one of my friends lived close and could keep her, or if my mom could stay home with her.  I just don't know.  I really wanted my Avon and Scentsy to take off, and it's not happening, so I am eventually going to have to go back to work.  I could probably stay home while we live with my parents, but like I said, I'm going stir crazy.

Any way, I was pretty pleased with how the interview went, and so I was in a pretty good mood.  And then it all went to shit.  I can't even really vent about it, because it just makes me feel like a whiny brat, and it doesn't do me any good to whine and complain when it doesn't change anything.  I need to just suck it up, and quit asking, and then I won't have to be disappointed.  So, that's what I'm going to do.  I'm going to quit asking, and then I won't have to deal with disappointment.  So there. :P

I got to have a brief convo with my Ames, whom I haven't spoken on the phone to in I can't tell you how long.  She's a Non-Stop Mom (check out her blog ;) ) and things have been hectic here too, so....hopefully we'll get to have a good, long, uninterrupted conversation tomorrow while her 2 youngest are at school and my girl is down for her nap.  I have missed conversations like that with her.

I also got to talk to my Tennessee fiesty today.  Not for long enough on that front either, but there are just some conversations that you can't have around other people. ;)

I have a 3rd conversation that I'm going to try and have tomorrow as well, with my bff from IL.  I haven't actually spoken to her in a while, we've texted some, but that's been it.  Hopefully I'll be able to catch her while her little guy (who's really not so little anymore) is down for his nap.

I also really hope that I get out of this funk that I'm in, because it's driving me INSANE.  Weight Watchers didn't go well this week, so that's part of it, and it's getting to be that time of month too, which is always just a flippen joy (insert eye roll....HERE).

I suppose I really should just shut off the tv and go to bed.  The Saints lost to the freakin Packers....what a wonderful way to end the night. :P  Ah well.....we'll see how the rest of the season goes.  GO BEARS! :P

Stay safe and be blessed my friends, until we meet again.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Whatever Wednesday...again....

So, it's Wednesday again.....unreal.  This week has gone by SO's crazy.  I don't even really have a whole lot to say, because I'm tired and my head hurts.  I am stuck in such a bad rut, I don't know what to do with myself.

So, for this Whatever Wednesday, I'm going to just say WHATEVER and hope that tomorrow is a better day.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Figures and frustrations....

CRAP.  That's what it feels like today.  Everything feels that way.  I have yet to find anything positive today.  Actually, I shouldn't say that.  My daughter is a positive in my life every single day.  She's the reason I get out of bed every morning. <3

I am just having a day.  I'm ready to have my own place.  I'm ready to have a car so that if I want to go to Katy for the day, I can.  I'm ready to not have to ask to use the car to go get the mail.  I'm ready to not be stuck at home all day if I don't want to be.  I am just having one of those days I think. *sigh*  Nothing seems to be going the way I want it to, and I haven't even started on ANY homework, and I only have like 2 days to get it done, since we're going to probably be gone all day Saturday. *sigh*

I suppose I should probably get off here and work on some homework, and I need to start the process of getting dinner made too. *sigh* ah well.....