I don't even know where to begin. I have been SO frustrated this weekend, and it doesn't look like there's any end in sight. There are so many things that I just can't seem to wrap my brain around, and bouncing ideas off anyone else is kind of a moot point.
I feel like no one listens when I talk. Ever. Including my husband. It's difficult living in a house with 2 other adults, and feeling like your opinions and thoughts are not appreciated or listened to in any way. I feel like I'm talking to myself 99% of the time. It's aggravating. I don't know what else I can do to make myself heard. I find myself getting more and more frustrated with my own kids because of the lack of respect. It's really starting to make me crazy.
One of these days it's going to come to blows and I'm going to flip out on someone.............and it isn't going to be pretty. *sigh*
Trying to walk the fine line between supporting someone that you love, helping them through the tough spots in their life, and wanting to knock the crap out of them really takes it's toll on you. Seeing someone self destruct in front of you and knowing that nothing you say will make a damn bit of difference to them is the epitome of difficulty. And knowing that the things that are causing the self destruction are completely preventable makes the situation even more difficult a pill to swallow.
I feel like I have been a horrible friend here lately too......life just gets in the way so often, and I don't pick up the phone and dial it as often as I should. I get so caught up in taking care of the kids and changing diapers that I lose track of the day pretty quickly. And before I know it, it's time to make dinner, get kids in the tub and get them into bed. Then I sit up and watch tv, when I should be sleeping, and I even tend to forget that I need to update the blog, because I'm just that special.
I keep hoping that things will even themselves out and I will get to the point where things don't affect me the way that they do now, but it's been a long time, and things don't seem to be getting any better. All I can do is just grab my bootstraps and hold on for the ride, and hope that it gets better.
On that note, I'm going to close out for the night. My eyes are burning, and I need to get some sleep.