Transient and Enduring Friendships
. . . for a reason, a season or forever
BY Brian A. "Drew" ChalkerReprinted with permission.
Many of us are fortunate enough to have friends (and, hopefully, partners) who are a consistent part of our lives throughout all our ups and downs. However, sometimes others we consider friends (and spouses) appear to enter, then depart from our lives for reasons we try to, but don't always, understand. This piece nicely explains the flow of people in and out of our lives.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.
Then people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
I find that these things are absolutely, without a doubt, completely true. I have had a lot of friends in my lifetime, as I'm sure all of us have. Trying to figure out whether someone is in your life for a reason, season or lifetime can definitely be a daunting task, but one that once figured out can make all the difference in the world. There have been friends that I had hoped were for a lifetime that only stayed for a reason. Just as there were some that I thought were only for a reason that ended up either a season or a lifetime.
I have some of the best friends in the entire world. I have a core group that are all on my speed dial, that I call first when something good, bad or indifferent happens, that I cry to when I'm having a bad day, that I share all the joys and sorrows of life with. One I have been friends with for 9 years, one 7 years, and one more than half my life. They have all seen me laugh, hugged me while I cry, listened to me whine, complain and be happy.
I was lucky enough to have one of them stand up with me when I married my hubby, though I know the others would have been there if they'd been able. She was also there by my side the day that Lil Lady was born, and was the 3rd person to hold her.
I think that the only way that we are able to get through life sometimes is knowing that we have people in our corner fighting for us when we sometimes can't. I wouldn't be where I am today without the love and support of those friends. They have carried me when I could no longer walk.
One of these friends has been going through a REALLY difficult last couple of weeks. She's always been so strong, so vibrant, so full of life. The last week, especially, I've heard how much of her spark these difficulties have stripped from her. Knowing that there really isn't much I can do for her other than listen when she needs to vent is making me crazy. There are more days than not that I wish that a teleporter existed, because I would go scoop her up and bring her here, and we would take off to the beach for the weekend, just her and I. I know that it wouldn't erase her difficulties, and they would be waiting for her when she came back, but it would hopefully give her a chance to recharge and clear her mind. Talking to her on the phone just doesn't allow for me to give her as much support as I would like to....because there is nothing better than a strong hug from a friend during a rough time.
I hope that even though we don't live close together, that she knows if we did, I would do whatever I could to help. And I'm sure that she does know it.
I hope that every one of you is able to have those friends that last a lifetime, because there is no greater feeling than to sit back and look at all the crap that you've been through, and to see who was by your side and who still is. I am amazed at the number of people in my life that have been there for 7 + years........you don't really think about it when you're young, but with everything that life throws at you, maintaining friendships can be a bit tough.
Life throws curve balls, and is short......make sure that you tell those who are important that they are. Love, hugs and kisses, my friends.