Monday, September 12, 2011

Nervous energy that I can't put to use because everyone is in bed.....

Oh, joy.  Knowing my luck, I'm going to have issues sleeping again tonight.  I didn't sleep worth a damn last night, I had trouble falling asleep, once I fell asleep I couldn't stay that way, and then I got woke up by everyone moving around this morning.  And now, tonight, I have a TON of nervous energy that I can't really do anything about, because everyone is in bed sleeping.

*sigh*  I have this job interview tomorrow, and I'm super nervous.  I don't know why either.  I had an hour long conversation on the phone with the owner's wife last week, about just about anything and everything under the sun, including the job, her previous jobs, my previous jobs, my baby, my family, her family...everything, and yet, I'm scared to death about this interview tomorrow.  I'm meeting with the office manager, and I am just really nervous.  I can talk anyone's ear off over the phone, but in person, I tend to clam up.  And it's really dumb, because I AM a nice person, a good person......I am just always afraid that people aren't going to see me that way.  And I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I'm fat.  I know that's dumb, but being fat really does affect how one sees themselves.  And the fact is that people do judge you by how you look, and I look like a beached whale. :)  *can we say welcome to my insanity??*

I really think I would love working for these people.  They seem VERY down to earth, and the owner's wife seems like she is the sweetest thing on the face of the planet.  She just has that "mom" least from what I could tell over the phone.  It seems like they really put family first, and their family includes their employees, which sounds like a perfect place to work if you ask me.  And it's only about 6 miles from home, which would be nice.  I could either come home for lunch (possibly, depending on how long lunch is) or eat at the office.  It only takes 12 minutes to get from there home (Mom and I drove out there tonight so I would know where I was going tomorrow), which is a shorter drive than I had ever in IL.  If the pay is right, I think it would be the perfect place for me.  It's a family owned business, so like I said it seems like they really put family first, which is important to me now more than ever, especially with Ava.

So, why is it that I'm so fracking nervous?  Why can I not just have confidence in myself that I will do a great job at the interview and they will hire me?  Oh, I know, because I haven't worked in over a year, and the last interview I had, I obviously bombed, since I'm still unemployed, and I'm a heifer.  BLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really do need to just give up and go to bed.  I need to plug my cell phone in tonight so that it doesn't die, and I have to get up early enough to get my shower and have time to be able to blow dry my hair and get Ava fed before I have to leave.  I have NO clue what I'm going to wear tomorrow, so that has me in a tizzy too.  I'm kind of in between sizes right now, so nothing fits right, and I think I look like a whale in everything anyways.

Man, I sound really pathetic tonight.....I'm going to go to bed, and pray that I wake up in a wonderful mood, and that the interview goes wonderfully and that they want me to start right away.  *sigh* We'll see what happens.

Stay safe and be blessed my friends, until we meet again.


  1. You will be fine. Trust me. Remember that whole "what's meant to be..." thing.

    Now, go to bed. Now. Now. Stop giving me that look and go to bed.

    Love you.

  2. **sighs**

    I hate that our society has the mindset that if your "fat" you can't possibly by a good person or good worker.

    I don't believe that.
    I know where I work doesn't believe that... Trust me, you got NOTHING ON THESE PEOPLE...
    I know I don't know you.. or what you look like.. but trust me... they are INSANE in that department.... But still, doesn't make them bad workers. Just as motivated as the sticks that walk through!

    You are well written, which in my opinion means you are well spoken.

    When I interviewed for this position, I hadn't worked in a long time. And the last job I had, was at a spa... Had nothing to do with what I am doing now... The last real job I had was over 5 years ago. So, I was shaking and feeling inferior interviewing at a "Company".

    I went in and basically told them I was motivated to do the right thing for my son.
    I was a fast learner. Plesant to be around, and always willing to go the extra mile.
    That this job would ensure the financial safety of my family, and that I would do anything to do it to their expectations and beyond.

    They liked my drive, and my need.

    You will do great.

    Give your baby a hug before you go.
    Children have the best energy.
    Use it for luck.
    Even though you don't need it.


  3. Ames~ I didn't see your comment until this morning, but I did go to bed pretty much right after you posted that. :P

    Kat~Thanks. :) I think that the interview went really well today. I really liked the office manager, I think she would be great to work with/for. I also talked to one of the owners of the company, and I felt the same way about him. I can only hope that they feel the same about me. Now all I can do is hurry up and wait. And I'm not the most patient person in the world, so this should prove to be rather interesting. :)