Sunday, June 5, 2011

Long time no write....

It's amazing how quickly time can tend to get away from you.  It seems like just last week was the last time that I posted, and then I look at the blog, and it's been a flippen month.  I suppose moving across country, going to school, and having a 2 month old will do that to you.  There's my month in a about you guys??? Lol

In all seriousness, things have been super crazy.  I've been a horrible friend, because I've been so out of touch with everyone.  My phone rings, and I'm either up to my elbows in poop, feeding a screaming child, trying to write a paper, or sleeping.  It never ends, I swear.  I try to find a few minutes to just sit and call someone or try to catch up on something, and Ava will start crying, or I have to pee, or something comes up that I just don't get any time to just BE.  I'm starting to wonder if going back to school was a good idea at all.

I know I can do it, I just need to make myself work on school certain hours of the day, no ifs, ands, or buts.  It's just not that easy when you have a 2 month old that refuses to get on any kind of regular schedule.  She is pretty much sleeping through the night, which has been fantastic, if only I was able to sleep when she does.  When she goes to bed, that's usually my time to attempt to get homework done.  Although I usually end up watching TV for a while, and by the time my show is over, I'm so freaking tired, I can't see straight.  So then I wait until Sunday night at 10PM to try and write a damn 500 word essay, and it doesn't get done, or it's done so half assedly that I don't even want to turn it in for the shame that goes behind it.

My parents have been super about helping with Ava, but I really don't feel that it should be their responsibility to help me with her when I have school work to do.  I'm struggling with trying to get my husband to do much of anything but sit on his ass, and it's really, really starting to get old.  He isn't getting the subtle hints that I'm trying to give him, so apparently I'm going to have to spell it out for him in plain English.  It's almost like he just doesn't know what to do.  And I get that, because I'm a first time parent too, but damn it man......put on your daddy panties and freakin deal with it!  There are times I don't know what to do to console her, and I just hold her to me and rock her until she goes to sleep.  If that doesn't work, then I change her butt.  I think seriously since she's been born, he's only changed maybe 2 diapers, and that's because I wasn't home when she needed changed!!!  I don't mind, because she's my daughter too, but damn it...he needs to start helping me more!  Speaking of which, she's fussing, and it's WAY past her bedtime, so I better take over so that I get some sleep tonight.  Until next time, which who knows when that'll be............................................


  1. Oh honey, it'll get better! Trust me! I know that it all seems overwhelming but (and I hate to use the old cliches) you'll look back at these times and realize that they aren't so bad! You have a lot on your plate and it's a lot to get used to all at once.

    And I know that I haven't called you, but I also know how hard being a new mom is and when I think about it, it's usually some weird hour of the night, or something distracts me, or whatever. I miss talking to you!!! I wish we could have hooked up while we were in TX last weekend but it was just so crazy - there were so many things that we wanted to do while we were down there and we didn't do any of them.

    Next time....

  2. Ames~Yeah, it would have been fantastic to get to see you guys while you were here, because I miss you guys like freakin mad, but things were just too nutso....and I didn't get your text until some ungodly hour that night....not even anywhere near the time that you sent it even. :( But, that's ok. We'll just have to figure something out once we get a vehicle and things are quite so insane. <3