It's that time again....

For another boring post from me about my seemingly boring life.  I am having a heck of a time the last couple days.  I'm feeling stressed and defeated in my own head, and it's really getting the best of me.  My life has done a complete 180 here lately.  I don't talk to my friends anymore.  And it's not for lack of wanting to.

Tomorrow is going to bring cleaning, and going through the closet, and working on some homework, and maybe getting a walk in before Weight Watchers, since I know that I completely blew this week, and probably gained a crap load of weight.  And the worst part is, I frankly don't care.  I am feeling so undeserving and unworthy and just completely NOT myself.  I'm not sure what's going on with me the last couple of days.

I need to find my center.  I need to rediscover myself.  I need to make some friends here locally.  I need to feel like I am contributing something worth while.  And I don't.  I am in this funk, and I can't seem to find my way out of it.

Maybe I should just give up and go to bed.  That would probably be the smart thing to do so that I don't manage to screw anything else up today.

Stay safe and be blessed my friends, until we meet again.

Well, this day can go somewhere else...........

So today is turning out to be completely craptastic.  First of all, the puppy that I found yesterday has been claimed by his owner. :(  I'm not gonna lie....it makes me sad.  They aren't taking good care of him, but what can you do?  I couldn't tell her no, you suck as a fur mommy, you can't have him back...as much as I wish I could.  He was so skinny...and his nails needed clipped something fierce. *sigh*

Then to pour salt in the wound, I got an email from the company that I interviewed with a while back, and I didn't get the job.  They made an offer to someone else on Friday.  It really pisses me off.  Oh well, I guess.  Just means that it wasn't the job for me.  But I NEED a job.  Period.  I think I'm going to just go cry now.

A quiet evening........

For the most part.  Mom, Dad, Joe and Ava are all in bed, and I'm sitting at the computer, when I should be sleeping, seeing as I have to get up to take Joe to work in the morning.  Dad is off tomorrow, and I don't want to be left without a vehicle when they leave to go to San Antonio.  So, I am going to take him to work, and then I'll have to go pick him up.  Which will likely be a pain in the butt, since I'll have Ava with me too.  But, oh well.  We can run into Wal-Mart when he gets off work and try to get his necklace that we bought that got left on the counter and stolen by another customer.  So the manager agreed to replace it, since it got stolen and we paid for it, but they didn't have the one he wanted, so she gave him a gift card.  He has checked back I think, and they still didn't have the one he wants.

I am looking forward to having a weekend in the house to ourselves.  We haven't really had any "alone" time since we got here.  I mean Joe and I have gotten to go out without the baby, or even taking her with us, a couple times, but when we get home, Mom and Dad are here.  Not that I don't appreciate everything that they are doing for us, because I do, but sometimes it would be nice to just come home and have it be me, Joe and Ava again.  I miss that.  So, we'll get a little taste of it while Mom and Dad are in San Antonio.

I still haven't heard anything from the place I interviewed with 2 weeks ago.  I emailed her last week, and she said that she was going to schedule 2nd interviews starting Wednesday of this week.  I emailed her again, saying that I was having issues with my phone, so....we'll see what happens.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed.  I NEED this job.  It would be the perfect opportunity, so all I can do is keep hoping and praying that it is the right fit, and that I will get it.

I suppose this is it for now.....I really should get to bed, seeing as I have to be up in like 5 hours.  I'm going to be so cranky tomorrow..........ah well......at least I realize that I'm going to be cranky....maybe that'll help ward some of it off...lol

Stay safe and be blessed my friends, until we meet again!

How I Met Your Mother..

I never, ever watched this show until I moved to TX and couldn't find anything else on TV at 11pm.  It's pretty good.  You know what else is good?  A glass of chocolate milk to help you go to sleep.  I know, it sounds insane, because of the caffeine in chocolate, but in reality, it works........at least for me.  I drank a glass here a few minutes ago, so hopefully in the next couple minutes, I'll be ready to go lay down.  I'm actually ready now, but wanted to get a few more thoughts out first.

I'm still debating about the Scentsy thing.  My sis in law from San Antonio thinks it's a great idea, and she has friends/co-workers that are likely to order.  She also said that she would help spread the word around for me.  And I can do the same for her, since she's selling Avon.  Which their makeup is pretty fantastic.  I've ordered several things, which has been nice, since all my makeup was hella old and nasty.

I should hopefully have another interview at the place I interviewed at last week.  The gal that interviewed me said she would be presenting candidates to the supervisor tomorrow and hopefully scheduling more interviews starting tomorrow afternoon, so we'll see what happens.  Keep thinking good thoughts for me.  I would really like to get this job, I think it would be wonderful for us.  It would get me the adult interaction that I am craving these days.  While I'm not thrilled at the prospect of putting Ava in daycare, I know that at some point I'm going to have to.  I've been lucky enough to be home with her this long, and daycare I know will be good for her, but I'm still not thrilled with it. :(

I suppose I should probably get to bed.  It's late, and Ava will likely be up early tomorrow.  Although she didn't fall asleep tonight until like 10:30, so maybe she'll sleep in a bit.

Stay safe and be blessed my friends, until we meet again.

Bad mood, lemon bars, and Grey's Anatomy

And once again, it's after midnight, and I should be in bed.  I have to be up early tomorrow to get Ava up and ready for her 4 month check up, and I have to find her medical records, and make sure that I give her Tylenol before we leave, and yet here I sit, watching some old episodes of Grey's Anatomy and eating lemon bars.  Yes, the are Weight Watcher friendly, and they taste AMAZING.

I have been in just a completely SHITTY mood all day.  I can't seem to shake it, and I don't know why.  I'm just really freaking irritated.  I really should probably just go to bed and try to sleep it off, because I don't think it's going to get any better by staying up.  And honestly staying up will likely make it worse since staying up will make me more tired than I'm already going to be tomorrow.

Well, I guess that decided it.  I'm going to go to bed, and try to get some sleep.  We'll see how well that works tomorrow morning when I get up.

Stay safe and be blessed my friends, until we meet again.

Gee imagine that..............

Another late night for me.  Holy crap, am I retarded, or what?  You would think by now that I would have learned that I need to go to bed when Ava does.  But NO, here I sit, at 12:24 in the morning, wide awake, with no real intention of going to bed anytime soon, sitting at the computer typing away and hoping that the light from the screen won't wake up my mom, since nothing else in the house is on.  I shut off the TV, simply because I was sick to death of listening to it.  So now, I listen to the clock tick, and the sound of my fingers on the keys.  I am feeling very reflective tonight, and I'm not quite sure why.  I don't really have anything to reflect on, so....maybe that's not quite the word that I should use.

I hung out in Houston today with my sister in law and nephews while my brother was at school, and it was a pretty fantastic day.  She and I haven't gotten to do a whole lot of hanging out since we moved down here, mainly because we just haven't been able to find the time with 3 kids to try and coordinate around.  My brother is in culinary school, and so he usually has their truck at school, leaving my sis in law without a vehicle for most of the day.  Since Joe and I don't have a car yet, I don't like leaving Mom without one, so it's kind of tough for me to go out there.  One of these days, I'm going to just have Mom take me and Ava out there for the day, and then when my brother gets home from school, he can just bring me back to Mom's.  Unless I start working soon, which I hope that I'm able to.

I still haven't heard anything from the place that I had the interview at last week.  I sent the woman that interviewed me an email tonight, asking about it, so I'm hoping that maybe I will hear something from her tomorrow, and that it will be good news, like that they would like me to start Monday morning. :P  I know that's probably not realistic, but a girl can dream, right?  We'll just have to see what happens.  I think I would do really well with this job, and I'm sure I would REALLY enjoy having some adult conversation.  Not that my parents aren't adults, but, they are my parents. :P  I would like to make some friends down here, and maybe be able to hang out with someone other than my mom and dad.  

I am still tossing around the idea of selling Scentsy.  I am just so afraid that I would make the plunge and fail miserably.  My brother and sister in law from San Antonio are coming this weekend, so I think I will talk to her and find out if she has friends/people that she knows that would be interested to see if maybe I would have some leads to start out with before I make my final decision.  I've also been tossing around the idea of becoming a Creative Memories consultant again, but the same thing...I'm fearful that I will take the plunge and spend the money and then fail.  I definitely don't want to do that, especially with Joe being the only one working.  We have a baby to worry about now, and I don't want to deprive her of ANYTHING, so that factors into my decision A LOT.  I sucked at Tupperware, so I'm afraid that I will suck at these too. :(  Gotta love not having any faith in yourself.

Ava's growing like a weed, and much too quickly for my liking.  We're having family pictures taken this weekend, since we've added 2 more family members since they were taken last.  My youngest nephew was brewing in my sister in law's belly, and we hadn't been blessed with Ava yet.  She has changed SO much, it's just absolutely crazy.  My sister in law has a picture of Ava on her phone from right after we moved down here, and she looks SO tiny......it's just unbelievable.  My baby is growing and changing.  She smiles ALL the time, and is trying SO hard to laugh.  She's rolling from front to back and back to front, and I swear she's trying to figure out how to crawl.  She moves herself around in her crib, and when I get her up in the morning, it's fun trying to figure out how she ended up like she does.  I am SO blessed...she's SUCH a good baby, and I thank God every single day that He has allowed me to be her mommy.  He has given me so many blessings in my life, and I definitely don't thank Him enough.

Work for Joe is going really well.  He likes his job, and come September, I think, he'll be made company, and will get a pay raise.  Well, I just looked it up, and it will actually be more like December before he'll be able to go company.  Ah, well, it's a good job, and decent pay for right now.

Well, I suppose that I should probably get to bed.  I know that I'm going to be miserable tomorrow if I don't. I'm probably going to be hella tired anyways, since it's already almost 1:30.  I don't know why I do this to myself.  *sigh* Ah well.

Good night my friends.  Be blessed, until we meet again.

Headaches, Diet Pepsi, and Chopped.

That's on the menu for tonight.  I'm drinking Diet Pepsi (YUCK) because there is no other soda in the house, and it has caffeine in it, so I'm hoping that MAYBE it will help get rid of this damn headache.  So far (3/4 of the can in) it isn't helping.  What WOULD probably help is me shutting off this silly computer and going to bed.  But that would be the easy answer. :P

Ava didn't want to go to sleep tonight for some reason.....my mom got her down before 10, and she went to bed, then about 10 minutes later, I heard Ava, and went to check on her, and sure enough, she was wide awake.  I brought her back out into the living room, and rocked her some more, and after fussing (half assed anyways) for about a half hour, she finally zonked out, and has been down for almost an hour.  Hopefully this means that she will sleep in some in the morning, so that I can too.  We'll see what happens. ;)

I'm watching Chopped on the Food Network, mainly because there is NOTHING else on, at least not anything that interests me, but I really should be going to bed.  My mom is keeping my youngest nephew tomorrow for my brother and sister in law, so I'm going to have to be up somewhat early.  I need to call and see about getting a haircut tomorrow too.  We're having family pictures taken this weekend.  My brother and sister in law from San Antonio are coming over, and so it's going to be a 11 person affair. :P  Well, 10 1/2, because Ava's not a running around, talking, screaming because they are bored person yet. :)  Give her another year or so....lol  It'll be nice, because Joe, Ava and I will have our first professional family picture taken, and I'm really excited about that.  Hence the need for the haircut.  It's really unruly these days, and so I want the stylist to cut it and show me how to style it so that it looks nice for the pictures.  A lot of people haven't seen my haircut, because I've not posted a picture of it, but after Ava was born....she was probably 7 weeks or so, I cut it all off.  Well, not all of it, but it's above my shoulders.  It barely hits my collar, and it just doesn't do much of anything.  So, we'll see what Mom's stylist can do for me.

Well, it's almost midnight, and I really should get to bed.  I know that I'll have to be up by about 8 or so, since my nephew will be coming around 8:30.  I love getting to spend time with him, so it should prove to be a fun day.  I have to pick Joe up from work, and we have to run to Walmart, and then I have Weight Watchers tomorrow night, and Joe and I may go to chinese for dinner afterwards.  We'll have to see what Mom and Dad want to do, and if they want to go with us.  Although mexican sounds awful good too......we'll just have to see.

Stay safe, and be blessed my friends, until we meet again.