Today is my beautiful girl's 1 month birthday. It's hard to believe that she's been in my arms for a whole month already. Every day is just amazing. She's growing and changing before my eyes, and I feel like time is going too fast. I still can hardly believe that she's even here.
We tried so long and so hard for her......I look at her every day in total amazement and awe that she exists. She is definitely my miracle. I can't seem to stop kissing her...the poor kid is going to hate kisses by the time it's all said and done! I am just SO thankful that she's here and healthy, and that we were blessed with this little miracle. I have never wanted something more than I wanted this, and here she is, in the flesh, making my life complete.
I never realized how big the hole in my heart was from all the miscarriages until she was born. That hole is gone. The scar tissue still remains, but the gaping hole that held onto so much of ME is filled with the love and amazement that having a baby brings with it. I finally feel completely whole. Hubby completed me when my heart was broken. Then the desire to give him a child was there, and every time we lost a pregnancy, it just bore a hole in my heart. With each loss, the hole just reopened and got a bit bigger. I just didn't realize how big it actually was until Lil Lady was in my arms the day she was born. She looked up at me with those big blue eyes, and I felt a contentment that I didn't realize was possible.
I find myself lost in gazing at her so much....every day the time slips away and I don't even realize it until I look at the clock.
So many things have changed. My outlook on things is completely different than it was before she was here. I look at her, and the love I feel for Hubby is just magnified 10 fold. I didn't realize that I could love him more than I did the day I married him, but I do. It's unreal. We created this beautiful little girl, out of love, and she's OURS. My heart is whole, my life complete....and it's an amazing feeling.