Saturday, May 11, 2013

And the saga continues..................................

So, I have been gone for a while, because things have just been kind of crazy.  We went on vacation, and since coming back, we've just been kind of busy.  My brother and sister in law left today for Japan. :(  Makes me incredibly sad.  I've had a bit of a hard time today, obviously, but I'm dealing with it okay.  I promised you all that I would continue my story to mommyhood, so I suppose I need to keep my promise.

So, I left off with us getting the phone call on August 2nd that would change so much......

Let me back up a little......I got on that eating healthier, quit smoking kick, and I was doing really well with it.  Hubby and I talked, and we decided that we were going to give having a baby of our own another shot.  We tried unsuccessfully in June.  I told Hubby at that point that we were going to try one more month, and then I was done.  I couldn't emotionally go through everything that we'd been going through anymore. 

So, on the morning of August 1st, I got up early, because I just couldn't sleep, and I knew that it was time to test.  So I did.  And it was positive.  And I immediately called my best friend and told her.  I was scared, and almost couldn't believe it.  I told Hubby and we both kind of said, okay, let's see what happens.  That was a Sunday.  I knew I couldn't get into the doctor until the following day, so I just kind of went through the rest of the day feeling scared and wondering if my little bean was going to end up being okay.

August 2nd, Monday, I woke up early again, went to the bathroom and called the doctor to try and get in.  Then I realized that I was spotting.  My heart sank.  I knew that it was over.  I called those that I had told about the positive test, and cried.  I was convinced that the pregnancy was over.  I didn't call the doctor's office back, because I thought I would give it til the end of the day.  My appointment had been scheduled for the following day, so I figured we would go from there.  I laid down on the couch, because I was just beyond devastated, so I thought I would try and sleep it off.  My phone rang a few minutes later, and because I was in the middle of a cry fest, I hit ignore.  The voicemail tone went off and I decided to listen.

It was our caseworker, calling to say that they had a potential placement for us, a set of twins, and that I needed to give her a call so she could give me specifics.  I called her back right away, she told me about the placement, and I said I would have to talk to Hubby and get back to her.  We discussed it, and I told him that I needed it, in case the pregnancy went south, and so I called our worker back and told her that we would take the twins.  We got them that Friday, and man, were they ever a  They really were good kids, and adorable to boot. 

I had gone into the doctor, and they did some bloodwork, and my numbers were going up like they were supposed to.  We went back the following week, they did more bloodwork and a sono, and we saw the baby's heartbeat.  I still didn't feel that everything was going to be fine, so we opted to not tell the majority of our friends and even our parents/families.  I was just too scared of having the "oh, wait, no I'm not pregnant" conversation again.  The followup bloodwork showed that some of the numbers were going up, but my progesterone wasn't going up like they wanted, so I had to go on progesterone suppositories.  Those were NOT fun.  They made a mess, and were just flat out uncomfortable.

Things were going well with the twins.  We established a relationship with their dad, and we opted to supervise the visits so that they didn't have to meet at the office to do them.  It just felt like that was too stiff and uncomfortable for them all, and the twins had a much more difficult time at home after a visit at the office.  Once we started supervising, the twins did much better.  They handled coming back to the house from the park and the discipline issues were at a minimum.  It also gave me a chance to get to know their dad, and to see how he really was with them.  Eventually we started having him over to our house for dinner on the nights of his visits, once the workers increasedhis visitation hours.

Things seemed to be cruising right along with the pregnancy too.  I felt sicker than a dog almost all day long, and especially when it came to smells.  I had a hard time changing diapers, because that smell made me nauseated.  I still to this day don't like the smell of raw hamburger cooking in a skillet.  But, I was glad to have the symptoms.  SO very glad.  At 11 weeks, which was a Monday,  I went in for a pap smear and appointment.  I was growing right on target, according to the doctor.  After the pap, she said not to be surprised if I spotted that day or the following.  I didn't, so I figured all was good.  On Wednesday, I got up and started my day, and noticed that there was a tiny bit of pink on the toilet paper.  I passed it off as my eyes playing tricks.  I went to the bathroom a lil while later, and this time it was definitely there....only bright red this time.  I called the OB and while waiting for someone to call me back, I freaked out and went to the hospital.  I was waiting to be seen when the OB called me back and told me to come in for a sono check.  I went in, everything was perfectly fine, baby was moving and heartbeat was strong.  I breathed a huge sigh of relief and went home to my hubby and the twins.

At that point, since I was almost out of the first trimester, we decided to go ahead and tell the masses.  I got my parents on the phone and webcam, and was able to show them the sono pic.  I will never forget the look on my mom's face as long as I live.  It was the best moment.  I only wish it would have been in person, but at the time, we were in IL and my parents were here in TX.

This is going to have to be it for tonight............I'm flat out exhausted and I can hardly hold my eyes open anymore.

Stay safe and be blessed my friends, until we meet again.

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