If you'd have told me 5 years ago that I would have 2 beautiful kids and be celebrating Mother's Day with them, I would have laughed in your face. I never would have imagined that this would be my life. I wouldn't trade it for anything, but I never would have thought that this could be me.
Being a mother to several angels is not for the faint of heart, that's for sure. There were many times that I wanted to just give up, and for a while, we did. We took a break from trying, and just enjoyed being together. Mother's Day during those years was horribly difficult. Most of the time, I just ignored it other than calling my mom to wish her a happy one. I avoided the cards and flowers and gifts like they were the plague. I would make sure that I didn't pay attention to the commercials or movies that centered around Mother's Day, because I just couldn't handle it.
The last couple of years have been much easier, since Cookie was born and then Muscles came along. I still have my times where I think about what could have been, what my angels would be like....but for the most part, I live in the moment and go with the flow.
Working with Miscarriage Matters had really made me feel like losing my angels meant something. It's given me a purpose, a drive, that I never knew I had in me. It's becoming a huge part of me...and it's making me into a better person. I love the team that I work with, and it's wonderful to be a part of something so amazing.
I suppose this is it for now...I have to light a fire under Hubby's butt to get him in the shower so that we can go to my parents for dinner.